Category name:twitter

Florida Airport Founder Opts Out of TSA “Junk Checks”

November 19, 2010 / Comments Off on Florida Airport Founder Opts Out of TSA “Junk Checks”

Sanford & Son Airport in FL announced they will opt out of “TSA Junk Checks” citing motto from Founder Fred Sanford, “LaMont, getchyo hands off my Junk.”

"LaMont, I told ya to keep yo hands off my Junk!"

Somewhere in Comedy Heaven Red Foxx smiles at the irony of Sanford Airport being the first to fire the TSA for groping Junk.

@GovKaineBrow

Dead Comedian Files Lawsuit Against TSA

November 18, 2010 / Comments Off on Dead Comedian Files Lawsuit Against TSA

Red Foxx filed a lawsuit against the TSA from beyond the grave yesterday claiming “Get Your Hands Off My Junk” was his trademarked signature line from his hit comedy show “Sanford and Son” show back in the 1970’s.

"Elizabeth, it's the Big One... the Big One...I'm coming bay-bee..."

“Lamont, Lamont, I feel the Big One coming, I’m coming to see ya Lizbeth…”

@GovKaineBrow

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Joins New Black Panther Party

In a stunning move today, Maricopa county Sheriff Joe Arpaio joined the New Black Panther Party and changed his name to Malik Shabazz Arpaio.

Eric Holder immediately announced the Department of Justice was dropping all pending lawsuits against Sheriff Arpaio.

So let’s recite an Eric Holder Nursery Rhyme from @GovKaineBrow for giggles & grins:

Eric Holder…

So Much Bolder…

Sued Sheriff Joe for Sport…

Black Panthers know…

Old Sheriff Joe…

will get THEIR day in Court…

MORE TO COME ON THIS STORY

John Kerry & SS Condiments of The Sea

July 29, 2010 / Comments Off on John Kerry & SS Condiments of The Sea

America’s favorite full time gold digger and part time Senator from Peeps Republic of Massachusetts has been in the news lately.  Doing his share to create American jobs he had his custom yacht built in New Zealand.  Doing his share to support marina workers in the Bay State he decided to park his barge in the Ocean State.  And of course, none of this had anything to do with dodging taxes in Massachusetts that would help Deval Patrick fund healthcare for all.

I can imagine the conversation aboard Isabel just before Teresa and John adjourn to spend the night in their separate luxury onboard suites:  “John, honey, you should’ve stuck to wind surfing.”

So time for some @GovKaineBrow nursery rhymes:

Kerry Kerry quite contrary

How didja cut that check?

The Five hundred large

To tax that barge

Came from Teresa what the heck…

Mister Flip-Flop is a target rich environment:

Humpty Kerry bought a Big Yacht

Dodged the taxes but got Caught

All the Heinz Money

And the Heinz Cash

Couldn’t stop Kerry from being an Ass…

Another:

John be nimble

John be quick

Teresa saved your ass

You prick…

One More:

Sail sail sail your yacht

Merrily down the Cape

Pay your taxes now you Creep

Then you can escape…

And a Bonus rhyme for all you Pancy Nelosi fans:

Nancy Pancy puddin & pie

Time to kiss your job goodbye

When it comes Election Day

Your Dem majority goes away…

Gotta go.  Time to work on some Charlie Mangle material now…

Why Jim Clyburn Won’t #STFU About Alvin Greene

The Congressman doth protest too much.

So I have to ask myself why?  First Alvin Greene was a Republican plant, then it was Elephant dung, now it’s the voting machines.

Clyburn’s position as explained to Willie Geist on MSNBC Morning Joe is it’s plausible some group paid Greene to run and then tampered with the voting machines.

Why does James Clyburn believe so strongly  unnamed conspirators stole the SC Democrat primary for US Senate and foisted Alvin Greene as a stooge on the peeps of the Gamecock state?

Why?  Why?  Why?

I’ve got it:  The SC Primary was a dry-run test of the voting machine fraud that will be used to steal the 2012 election from Barack Obama.

Yep, Jim Clyburn is testing the waters to see if he can get his peeps to believe the story line.

The man’s not crazy he’s just insane so I figure it’s less than 24 hours before someone floats this biscuit of a conspiracy theory.

But if you really wanna know the truth of the matter, the ONLY thing the SC primary fiasco proves is that DemocRats can STEAL elections from themselves…

Frank Rich Fingers The Original Tea Party Racists…

December 16, 1763 was the date of The Original Boston Tea Party.

The following day, December 17, 1763, the Boston Chronicle published the now universally famous essay “Welcome to Colonial History Month” penned by the talented Tory inkstained scribe, Sir Francis Rich.

Rich’s incisive essay no doubt changed the course of Colonial history in the Americas and is still taught in Freshman Journalism class at the King’s Ivy League schools to this day.

In the piece, Rich correctly identifed the Original Tea Party crew as racists for dressing like Injuns to dump crates of legal, lightly taxed tea into Boston Harbor in a faux protest driven by their misguided desire to demonize the King of England.

In his most famous passage, Sir Rich spoke Truth to the Usurpers of Power:

How our current spike in neo-Colonial rebellion will end is unknown. It’s unnerving that Tea Party leaders and the so-called Sons of Liberty now aim to create a new volunteer militia that, as Prime Minister Lord North has put it, would use as yet mysterious means to “help defend against what they believe are illegal and improper infringements by the Crown on Colonial sovereignty.”

This is the same ideology that animated Guy Fawkes, whose attempted strike against the so-called ‘tyrannical’ King’s government will reach its 165th anniversary on Monday in the same city where Parliament meets.

Once correctly educated by Rich, the loyal subjects of Massachusetts united in a backlash against the Tea Partiers.  The deceptively named Sons of Liberty were arrested and prosecuted including ringleader Samuel Adams. 

Upon his release from gaol, Samuel Adams was publicly forced to imbibe copious amounts of his own illegal home brew before being tarred, feathered and ridden from town on a rail  — but not before being levied for the full amount of alcohol taxes due by his Majesty’s tax collector, Sir Timothy Geithner.

As teachers and students know well, the loyal subjects of Massachusetts learned the correct lesson from this episode, including many commoners who may have been initially snookered by the heated rhetoric of Adams et al. 

The good people of Massachusetts rejected the false promises of the Sons Of Liberty and have remained true to the Crown to this day.

With his characteristic wit and insight, Sir Francis forestalled a potential Revolution in the Americas– and no doubt saved The Colonies from a descent into the inevitable chaos of Democracy and Individual Liberty.

 

And that boys and girls is today’s lesson in Progressive Revisionist History…

Aside:  Samuel Adams was once quoted as saying, “I know Lord Charles Blow and Charles Blow is no Crispus Attucks.”

satirical inspiration from this @GovKaineBrow tweet:

HISTORY REVISED: Tories brand the ORIGINAL Tea Party crew as racists for dressing like Injuns & forestall the American Revolution… #tcot

11:51 AM  April 19  via web

 

Barack Obama Bows to Bibi Netanyahu…

April 13, 2010 / Comments Off on Barack Obama Bows to Bibi Netanyahu…

Signaling a fresh re-start to US-Israeli relations, Bibi Netanyahu took the courageous step today of (a) denying the Holocaust, (b) blocking Google in Israel and (c) jailing hardline Zionist settlers in east Jerusalem.

Barack Obama did his part to return the favor by bowing to Bibi via a Skype conference call and reaffirming Israel as a key US ally in the region along side Iran and Syria.

Press Secretary Booby Gibbsy said, “These constructive actions by Prime Minister Netanyahu will go along way to normalizing US relations with Israel and they also mark a solid step forward in the Middle East peace process.”

Hashtag Fun with Political #BirdFilms…

April 12, 2010 / Comments Off on Hashtag Fun with Political #BirdFilms…

… just a few movie titles from political movies from @GovKaineBrow tweet stream for a bipartisan chuckle or two:

Political #BirdFilms “Doctor StorkLove”
8:32 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms: “Wag the Vulture”
8:32 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “Thank you for Finching”
8:34 PM Apr 9th via web

Politcal #BirdFilms “Primary Plovers”
8:35 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “A Flamingo In The Crowd”
#EliaKazan #OldyMoldyGoody
8:39 PM Apr 9th via TweetDeck

Political #BirdFilms “The Manchurian Cormorant”
#OldBlueEyes
8:40 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “All the President’s Macaws”
9:01 PM Apr 9th via web

Political #BirdFilms “Mr. Sandpiper Goes to Washington”
9:02 PM Apr 9th via web