Tag name:GovKaineBrow

Just Die Baby

December 21, 2011 / Comments Off on Just Die Baby

Al Davis succumbs to natural causes twice in the same year

Somewhere in Hell, Al Davis awaits the arrival of the Doppelganger Dictator, Kim Jung Il.  With both Al Davis and the Korean Despot dying in the same year it will bleak for future sales of ill-fitting satin workout suits and dark sunglasses.

The two Benevolent Despots were separated at birth

TBS SuperStation Inks Charlie Rangel for New Series

December 2, 2010 / Comments Off on TBS SuperStation Inks Charlie Rangel for New Series

After seeing Charlie Rangel’s tour de force performance on the House floor today, TBS SuperStations offered the censured Congressman a contract almost immediately as The Lead in a TBS remake of “Sanford & Son” with Charlie reprising Red Foxx’s role as Fred Sanford, the crusty curmudgeon junk man.

“We think Charlie’s a natural,” said a TBS spokesman, “he’ll kick ass a Fred. I mean, can’t you just hear him saying, ‘Lamont, getcho hands off my junk!'”

The Big Question is who's gonna play Lamont?

Charlie leaving the House Floor before getting the TBS News

Dictators Separated At Birth: King Jung Il & Al Davis

November 23, 2010 / Comments Off on Dictators Separated At Birth: King Jung Il & Al Davis

ABC News has confirmed Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis has not been seen in public since North Korea shelled a South Korean island today killing two South Korean Marines.

We share a love of satin running sweats

Just Win Baby... Commitment to Excellence... Despot of the Decade...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Question:  Have Al Davis & Kim Jung Il ever been seen in the same room at the same time?

 

Just sayin…

 

 

Florida Airport Founder Opts Out of TSA “Junk Checks”

November 19, 2010 / Comments Off on Florida Airport Founder Opts Out of TSA “Junk Checks”

Sanford & Son Airport in FL announced they will opt out of “TSA Junk Checks” citing motto from Founder Fred Sanford, “LaMont, getchyo hands off my Junk.”

"LaMont, I told ya to keep yo hands off my Junk!"

Somewhere in Comedy Heaven Red Foxx smiles at the irony of Sanford Airport being the first to fire the TSA for groping Junk.

@GovKaineBrow

Dead Comedian Files Lawsuit Against TSA

November 18, 2010 / Comments Off on Dead Comedian Files Lawsuit Against TSA

Red Foxx filed a lawsuit against the TSA from beyond the grave yesterday claiming “Get Your Hands Off My Junk” was his trademarked signature line from his hit comedy show “Sanford and Son” show back in the 1970’s.

"Elizabeth, it's the Big One... the Big One...I'm coming bay-bee..."

“Lamont, Lamont, I feel the Big One coming, I’m coming to see ya Lizbeth…”

@GovKaineBrow

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Joins New Black Panther Party

In a stunning move today, Maricopa county Sheriff Joe Arpaio joined the New Black Panther Party and changed his name to Malik Shabazz Arpaio.

Eric Holder immediately announced the Department of Justice was dropping all pending lawsuits against Sheriff Arpaio.

So let’s recite an Eric Holder Nursery Rhyme from @GovKaineBrow for giggles & grins:

Eric Holder…

So Much Bolder…

Sued Sheriff Joe for Sport…

Black Panthers know…

Old Sheriff Joe…

will get THEIR day in Court…

MORE TO COME ON THIS STORY

Obama’s Recovery Summer Theme Song Contest

Remember “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” as the song that defined the Clinton Presidency?  I wish I could but that song made Clinton voters swoon.  Sorta the same way the economy is swooning in our so-called Summer of Recovery in 2010.

Every Presidential Theme deserves a good theme song, so I’ve been searching to find the right song for Barack Obama’s “Summer of  Recovery.”  So without any further adieu, here is BobNoxious’ Top 10 List of Summer of Recovery theme songs by genre:

1.  Surf Music:  “Wipeout” by the Surfaris

1.  Rock’n’Roll:  “Summer Time Blues” by Eddie Cochran

3.  80’s music:  “Cruel Summer” by Bananarama

4.  Disco:  “Funkytown” by Lipps  (honorable mention:  Any Song by Donna Summer)

5.  R&B:  “Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus (new vocals by Robert Gibbs)

6.  Country:  “Flip Flop Summer” by Kenny Chesney (insert John Kerry yacht joke here)

7.  One Hit Wonder:  “In the Summer Time” by Mungo Jerry

8.  Classical:  “Summer (Four Seasons)” by Vivaldi

9.  Crooner:  “Summer Wind” by Frank Sinatra, since there’s no shortage of Hot Air from the White House

10.  Show Tunes:  “Summer Time” by George Gerswhin but with new lyrics below:

Summertime,
And the spinnin’ is easy
Spending is jumpin’
Unemployment is high

Let’s tax all the rich
Oh, that’s how it’s lookin’
So hush teaparty voter
Don’t you cry…

Additional candidates are encouraged so feel free to leave your favorite one in the comments.
(Hat tip to Ed Morrissey of #TEMS for the inspiration)
UPDATE:
How could I forget the Doo Wop classic “Get a Job” by The Monotones?  My bad!

Breaking: Charlie Rangel Expelled from House of Representatives

The Huffington Post reports Congressman Charlie Rangel (Dem, NY15) was booted from the US House of Representatives late Thursday for wearing a LeBron James Cleveland Cavaliers Jersey on the floor of the US House of Representatives.

As he was escorted off the floor by the Sgt at Arms, Congressman Rangel flipped the Bird to the Florida Delegation and yelled, “Eat me Nancy Pelosi!.”

Updates to come…

John Kerry & SS Condiments of The Sea

July 29, 2010 / Comments Off on John Kerry & SS Condiments of The Sea

America’s favorite full time gold digger and part time Senator from Peeps Republic of Massachusetts has been in the news lately.  Doing his share to create American jobs he had his custom yacht built in New Zealand.  Doing his share to support marina workers in the Bay State he decided to park his barge in the Ocean State.  And of course, none of this had anything to do with dodging taxes in Massachusetts that would help Deval Patrick fund healthcare for all.

I can imagine the conversation aboard Isabel just before Teresa and John adjourn to spend the night in their separate luxury onboard suites:  “John, honey, you should’ve stuck to wind surfing.”

So time for some @GovKaineBrow nursery rhymes:

Kerry Kerry quite contrary

How didja cut that check?

The Five hundred large

To tax that barge

Came from Teresa what the heck…

Mister Flip-Flop is a target rich environment:

Humpty Kerry bought a Big Yacht

Dodged the taxes but got Caught

All the Heinz Money

And the Heinz Cash

Couldn’t stop Kerry from being an Ass…

Another:

John be nimble

John be quick

Teresa saved your ass

You prick…

One More:

Sail sail sail your yacht

Merrily down the Cape

Pay your taxes now you Creep

Then you can escape…

And a Bonus rhyme for all you Pancy Nelosi fans:

Nancy Pancy puddin & pie

Time to kiss your job goodbye

When it comes Election Day

Your Dem majority goes away…

Gotta go.  Time to work on some Charlie Mangle material now…