Tag name:Politics

John Kerry & SS Condiments of The Sea

July 29, 2010 / Comments Off on John Kerry & SS Condiments of The Sea

America’s favorite full time gold digger and part time Senator from Peeps Republic of Massachusetts has been in the news lately.  Doing his share to create American jobs he had his custom yacht built in New Zealand.  Doing his share to support marina workers in the Bay State he decided to park his barge in the Ocean State.  And of course, none of this had anything to do with dodging taxes in Massachusetts that would help Deval Patrick fund healthcare for all.

I can imagine the conversation aboard Isabel just before Teresa and John adjourn to spend the night in their separate luxury onboard suites:  “John, honey, you should’ve stuck to wind surfing.”

So time for some @GovKaineBrow nursery rhymes:

Kerry Kerry quite contrary

How didja cut that check?

The Five hundred large

To tax that barge

Came from Teresa what the heck…

Mister Flip-Flop is a target rich environment:

Humpty Kerry bought a Big Yacht

Dodged the taxes but got Caught

All the Heinz Money

And the Heinz Cash

Couldn’t stop Kerry from being an Ass…

Another:

John be nimble

John be quick

Teresa saved your ass

You prick…

One More:

Sail sail sail your yacht

Merrily down the Cape

Pay your taxes now you Creep

Then you can escape…

And a Bonus rhyme for all you Pancy Nelosi fans:

Nancy Pancy puddin & pie

Time to kiss your job goodbye

When it comes Election Day

Your Dem majority goes away…

Gotta go.  Time to work on some Charlie Mangle material now…

GhostWriters Inked Palin’s Palm says Media Matters

28 breaking news items on Twitter over a 5 hour period last night covering all angles of Sarah Palin’s PalmGate MainStream Media Crisis.

Plus a Bonus “Brush With Greatness” with our hero, Andrew Breitbart.  He’s the original No Baloney Guy.

Here’s what happens when the Guvna goes off his meds:

BREAKING: Media Matters reports GhostWriters inked Sarah Palin’s palm for TeaParty Speech…

BREAKING: CNN FactChecks ink on Sarah Palin’s palm. Reports 3 spelling errors and a death threat to Levi Johnston…

BREAKING: Andrea Mitchell reports ink on Palin’s palm donated illegally by Exxon lobbyist in CLEAR violation of ethics standards…

BREAKING: Fox News reports ink on Robert Gibbs palm says “Shake Three Times”

BREAKING: San Fran Chronicle reports ink on Barbara Boxer palm says “I worked too hard to have Sarah Palin book outsell mine 100X”

BREAKING: Maureen Dowd reports that ink stain on Harold Ford’s palm is actually a map of NYC Subway System…

BREAKING: Wall Street Journal reports ink stain on BHO’s palm sets new Red Ink record of $13 Trillion…

BREAKING: Politico reports ink stain on John Edwards hands is actually a tatoo of baby Quinn’s ultrasound test…

BREAKING: Breitbart reports ink stain on James O’Keefe palm is Mary Landrieu’s phone number…

andrewbreitbart  @GovKaineBrow comedy gold, my friend. did you write for sid caesar?

@andrewbreitbart it’s been all down hill for me after soupy sales fired me in 67

BREAKING: Reuters reports ink stain on Helen Thomas palm is older than she is…

BREAKING: WaPo reports Joe Biden only writes on his palm in Invisible Ink since he plagiarized Neil Kinnock’s speech in 1988…

BREAKING: MSNBC reports ink stain on Chris Matthews palm just tingled down his leg…

BREAKING: AP reports ink stain on Al Gore palm says “Turn Thermostat Up to High”

BREAKING: Boston Globe reports ink stain on Martha Coakley palm was Daily Kos exit polls showing her winning #MaSen by 6 points…

BREAKING: Boston Globe reports ink stain on Scott Brown palm was mileage reading from his VICTORIOUS GM truck…

BREAKING: Richmond TImes Dispatch reports ink stain on GovKaine Palm is list of all the elections he’s lost as DNC Chair…

BREAKING: HuffPo reports ink stain on Erik Holder palm reads “You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney”

BREAKING NEWS: Honolulu Times reports ink stain on BHO palm is NOT from his birth certificate…

BREAKING NEWS: Orlando Sentinel reports ink stain on Alan Grayson Palm is the rantings of a madman soon to lose his seat in Congress…

BREAKING: National Enquirer reports the ink stain on John Edwards palm is 9 or 10 phone numbers he got from Tiger Woods…

BREAKING: New Orleans Times Picayune reports ink stain on David Vitter palm says “Bet the Colts minus the Points”

BREAKING: The Charleston Post & Courier reports ink stain on Mark Sanford palm says “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina”

BREAKING: The Arkansas Gazette reports the ink stain on Bill Clinton palm is blue ink

BREAKING: The Las Vegas Sun reports nobody gives a Rats Ass if Harry Reid has an ink stain or not…

BREAKING: The Johnstown Tribune Democrat buried their story on John Murtha’s ink stain as respect for service in Marines. Too bad. Good joke

(Just think shovel ready project)

BREAKING: Chicago Tribune reports the ink stain on Rahmbo’s palm says “Soon you sleep with fishes” #TheRWord

BREAKING: Comedy Central reports the ink stain on Colbert’s palm is the crossed out list of Repubs he’s called Effing Retards this week…

BREAKING: Variety reports the ink stain on Gary Coleman palm as he got arrested said “Pitch Brewster’s Trillions Sequel” Guess who as Pryor?

(HINT: tall, lean, good looking, gives good speech)

Someone said first rule of satire is there aren’t any.  Second rule is you have to know when to quit.   Sometimes me not so good on that… Trigger just breathed his last, beaten to death.

#MaSen Headline: Ernest Byner Fumbles…

January 18, 2010 / Comments Off on #MaSen Headline: Ernest Byner Fumbles…

Martha Coakley is on the verge of being the Ernest Byner of Health Care Reform: Fumbling inside the 10 yard line with a trip to the Super Bowl in the balance.

My apologies to Browns Fans but accept some solace that it might be Scott BROWN who made the hit.

Hat tip to @daveweigel for the muse